Empty triangles: not even once
Every day, innocent shapes are ruined by reckless players. Don’t be part of the problem.
This stylish collared polo is your official uniform in the war against bad shape. Inspired by 1990s anti-drug PSAs, but for something equally dangerous.
Woven from thick, soft cotton (and moral outrage), this shirt is perfect for tournaments, casual hangouts, and shape-based interventions. One look at your collar and opponents will rethink their life choices... or at least their next move.
Possible side effects include:
• Tactical enlightenment
• Visions of Go Seigen crying softly
• Unshakable feelings of moral superiority
• A powerful compulsion to mutter, “What is that shape?” under your breath
Specs:
• 100% combed ring-spun cotton, softer than your fuseki
• Ribbed collar to hold in the judgment
• Spare button—because we believe in second chances
• Classic fit with side slits—because flexibility is good shape
Warning:
Wearing this shirt may cause others to feel judged. That’s because they are bad.
You’re not just a player. You’re a soldier in the Shape Wars™.
Do you think you, or someone you love, may be suffering from ETS (Empty Triangle Syndrome)?
Help is available.
Call the National Shape Helpline™ at 1-800-TRI-NOPE.
Operators are standing by (probably a 4d... definitely judgmental).
Remember:
Bad shape ruins games, and can even ruin friendships.
Join the movement.
Rock the polo.
Shame the triangles.
